An Open Letter To A High School Crush

Someday you will find out about me: the President of the Booklover’s Club, the girl who keeps the class record, the girl who accidentally run into the boy’s room during retreat, the girl who overslept in the school clinic, the girl who spilled a chocolate syrup, the girl who preferred to stay at the Jail Booth during Intramurals, and the girl who writes poems about you in the school paper.

If it happens I wonder if the letters and poems will stop.

If it happens I wonder what will you do?

For now, allow me to say something. 

From the beginning, you are a gentleman. You never failed to understand everything. You can easily assess situations. You know your way around girls; that is probably the charm of having sisters.

Thank you for keeping your distance. That way the game of “looking from afar” is exciting. You would look at my direction and I would stare back. Sometimes you are so far literary because you’d be in the other class. That was okay because I was busy with the pop quiz and presentations.

Back then I did not know the effect of high school crush. I did not know that unsaid feelings have these magnificent results. Sometimes I caught myself smiling. I have done crazy stunts in your honor with my friends around. Thank God, I have them! Who knows what crazy ideas I have executed? I have impulse reaction to certain things. Yet I was so calm when we hold hands during the culmination event of the United Nations and Rosary Month. I was so focused on my role as one of the human beads of the rosary.  It was only days after that I realized that was something remarkable.

High school was so fun; so much that I did not notice there are other love stories brewing.

I lost count of the girls you dated.

I lost count of how many times my friends told me that we are impossible. I lost count of the days I told myself that we might be.

I still remember the day I first saw you and the day I last saw you. You are always afar. Yet the first was curiosity turned into a dream and the last is a hope. Just when I was trying to forget you my high school crush you showed up in a place I least expect. I found out that we are in the same city. Your bare existence excites me, knowing that this is a small world of what ifs.

I always pray for your happiness.

Someday you will find out about me. If it happens this chase will be over or so I hope. 

Meanwhile, I will be here waiting. 

Photo by Alexa Mazzarello on Unsplash