Free writing

I am sad, more like regret.

Nothing serious is coming out. Look what I have written here. Nonsense blah blah. What should I do? But I think this is nonsense at all. This very notion of writing of whatever comes to mind actually calms me. I like the feeling, actually even though I pause to remember the correct spelling of a word or try to go back to put a punctuation mark. I like this! I like how my mind slowly becomes at ease.

I guess it is the pleasure of accomplishing something that makes this free writing sensible.

I admit I am disappointed with myself if I have not done anything useful done. I’m used on finishing projects. I’m used of coming home late. Yet, my parents won’t complain because they know I am getting something. I am learning when I am still in school. I was earning money when I had still a decent job. But now, when I go out late they would think that I get nothing.

But I do!

I am getting something. I have not told them that I was actually ticking an item in my bucket list, by doing it. Like free writing you get nothing accurate. You get nothing serious. You don’t know how the whole article will be about much more like how it will end. Even if you decide to delete it after, what you get is a sense of peace and accomplishment within yourself. Just like doing things that would not make to your resume.

It is like that.

I may not please everyone including my parents but hey! I please myself before anyone else. I will deal with the consequences when I cross the bridge.