Free writing

I am sad, more like regret.

Nothing serious is coming out. Look what I have written here. Nonsense blah blah. What should I do? But I think this is nonsense at all. This very notion of writing of whatever comes to mind actually calms me. I like the feeling, actually even though I pause to remember the correct spelling of a word or try to go back to put a punctuation mark. I like this! I like how my mind slowly becomes at ease.

I guess it is the pleasure of accomplishing something that makes this free writing sensible.

I admit I am disappointed with myself if I have not done anything useful done. I’m used on finishing projects. I’m used of coming home late. Yet, my parents won’t complain because they know I am getting something. I am learning when I am still in school. I was earning money when I had still a decent job. But now, when I go out late they would think that I get nothing.

But I do!

I am getting something. I have not told them that I was actually ticking an item in my bucket list, by doing it. Like free writing you get nothing accurate. You get nothing serious. You don’t know how the whole article will be about much more like how it will end. Even if you decide to delete it after, what you get is a sense of peace and accomplishment within yourself. Just like doing things that would not make to your resume.

It is like that.

I may not please everyone including my parents but hey! I please myself before anyone else. I will deal with the consequences when I cross the bridge.

Cornerstone Diary: 2015's Christmas Party Highlights

It had been two weeks since the Christmas party of Cornerstone. It was super fun! My level of excitement was the same as the excitement that the kids had that day. Who wouldn’t? There were games, gifts, great food, and surprises.

A Letter from The Abandoned Chairs

We humbly request that we may be moved to a safer place.  We feel that robbers would come to us anytime. Aside from that we feel that we are useless here.

A Letter To A Dead Friend

Dear Val,

I miss you.

I’m sorry if my way of remembering you is opposite to what is supposed to be done. I’m writing to tell you of my misfortunes. I failed again. As I write this I am feeling so afraid. Really – really afraid mostly with myself. I don’t trust my instinct anymore. I lost my drive to keep on moving. I forgot that I can get up on my own if ever I stumble. I forgot that I have two hands that I can use to balance my body before my face hit the ground should I accidentally fall.

Cornerstone Diary: A Minion Invades Us!

A minion invades us! Well, sort of.

Friday's 10 Happy Things Vol. 1

Hello, Friday! I’m finally joining Helga’s blog link-up. This is similar to Happy List the only difference is I/we post things that made us happy in the week that happened every Friday. I hope I can cope up. J

Why I Blog

Let me share my blogging story and the rules that I follow before I click the publish button. As I write this I am attempting to understand within myself, “Why I blog?” It is my hope that my reasons would make sense to you whether you are a blogger or not.

Cornerstone Diary: The 21st Day of November and On Dealing with Difficult Students

The siblings of the tutees are also welcome to eat with us. :)

           Last October 21 the Cornerstone team celebrated birthdays. We had lunch at a local fast food chain nearby. During the meal we talked about assorted things like the previous APEC, Game of Thrones, politics – on who's voting for whom, the issue of internet speed, writing poetry, and, of course, the plan for the upcoming Christmas party this December 5. We were so engaged on eating and talking that we forgot to take photos to remember the occasion.

            Anyway, before that, the whole Cornerstone was normal. The routines were smoothly done, the opening prayer, the lessons delivered by my fellow volunteer tutors was okay, the food was great, and a few misbehave ones which is normal until it was time for the small group sessions. One of the tutees that I was handling was being difficult. She refused to come with me. So was determined not to study more because she had a conspirator. I was worried because my group was the only one probably not doing better in terms of reading progress.

Cornerstone Diary: MOA Signing Ceremony, Letters VOX, and Fun Game with YFC

         

    I’ve been hearing plans for Cornerstone’s Christmas party in the last sessions. To be honest, I can’t believe that it is almost December. No wonder the kids are motivated to participate and be good in group sessions. So much had happened. Here’s a photo diary of Signing of Memorandum of Agreement, lessons of letters VOX, and some snaps from the YFC.

The MOA Signing Ceremony

  To formalize the affiliation between Inuman Elementary School and Cornerstone the Memorandum of Agreement Signing Ceremony was held last October 24, 2015. It was attended by the representatives of the school and of the Cornerstone. Talks were delivered. I did not hear much of them because my attention was on the kids. Plus I was taking some photos. It was a bit tiring day since we proceed to have a regular session.

The parents of the tutees are always eager to support any activities that can nourish their child's knowledge.
Look at that kid staring in the camera. ;)

We were called to have a group photo then we go back to continue our activities.

This Girl Is Learning To Put Make - Up

     

 When I was a teenager there my girl classmates started showing interest in make – up. They would show up in recitals with red lips and thick eyelashes. Back then, I did not share the same enthusiasm. I do not care if I look pale on school events or if I had an oily face. I carried the same attitude minus the oily face. Sure I know the basics of make – up. I understand them how it will affect my physical appearance yet I was hesitant to try them on. I’d put some if it is extremely necessary.

The Happy List // 3

            Happy Halloween!! I’m leaving at 3 pm to visit my deceased uncle. Before that, join me as I list the happy things for these past days. You too can write your own. Remember we should count our blessings not our worries.

1.      I made it to Morong, Rizal.

2.      I was able to attend today’s SFC household.

3.      Ramon Bautista’s “Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo”. My brother a copy last night, I read it in one sitting. I was laughing with his witty advice.

4.      Surviving each day with three decent meals. Watching documentaries about poverty and social issues truly made me grateful of what opportunities that I have.

5.       It’s not raining anymore.

6.      My brother said that he passed all his subjects this semester.

7.      I’m at peace with myself. Meaning, I no longer doubt my capabilities on achieving my dreams.

8.      Reading comments here in my blog. I am always happy to read new comments here in Koshe. Tell me your thoughts guys. I don’t bite. J

9.      Hearing a mass last Sunday. The priest sermon was to the point. He said, “Your rewards may not be given to you directly but to your love ones.

10.  Clouds. They are dreamy and heavenly. Also, today's "Kalyeserye" episode in Eat Bulaga.

Superstitious Beliefs Of Our (Filipino) Family

Ever since I was a child I was told to do things just because it was one of the superstitious beliefs that my father’s side of the family has been following. Sometimes I’d dare to disobey but it would only result in the argument within the family.

            It is my hope in listing these beliefs to inform those who do not entertain old traditions that are currently implemented in the Philippines. We never know, the next place that you will be visiting is observing these beliefs more strictly than mine.

Side Trip In Morong Rizal

My interest with Morong, Rizal started when I was in college. My teacher in Rizal (a subject that tackles the life of our National Hero, Jose Rizal) mentioned that the people in Morong act differently. He said that they are well – mannered enough not to spit in the streets of their own town. And, that they were able to preserve some of its culture and tradition. I have mentioned my interest in visiting the town to my friends in an eager tone. But they responded by saying that there is nothing to see in the town. They said that it does not count as a tourist destination.

Taking Gifting to The Next Level

     

   There is one wish that I would like to be granted this Christmas, that is having a permanent and full – time job. If I have one I can help pay the bills.  In case my curious friends, family, and godmother stumble here in my blog and wanted to wrap presents for me. I’d say a DSLR Canon, pair of shoes, Bohemian inspired dress, a new phone, and adult coloring book with colored pencils.

Second Letter to D.K.

I am still the same. Nothing has changed. I still go to the library every Wednesday. The librarian is strict as ever. She made me write an apology letter for staining a portion of the book cover of Gardening and Landscaping. I argued that it was already there when I picked up the book but she did no listen. She threatened to send me to the Guidance Counselor’s office so I did what she told me.

I Am A Dreamer

I am a dreamer

Yes I am

Travel without minding that huge fare

Getting dirty camping I won’t care if it is not a glam

Ever since I am a dreamer

A gig in a runway

Giving out book and food for free

Own two houses, one in a city and one by the beach

A Letter of Gratitude To Everyone

            Years ago I wished that people would think and act the same. So that explaining would not be difficult and being a stereotype would not matter. But then I realize that it would not work out as I wanted and that everything will be repeating as it is. There will be no past and no future, only the never changing present.

The Happy List // 2

Ah life! Nothing much happened but it felt like something good is happening soon. It started when I shun away all the negative thoughts. And so, I list people or things that made me happy. I wish you guys are happy wherever you are. Go on be happy and take a risk!

1.      I was able to attend SFC’s activities. I am glad I was able to attend one GMT and three household with my new head. It seems everyone is busy in SFC too we were not able to chit chat after the GMT because everyone is headed to their scheduled activities.

2.      Gilas Pilipinas won the silver medal for FIBA Asia Championship. At least, they ranked second to China. I’ve watched the games on a local free TV channel with my brother and I’ve seen how determined our national team was to get the only slot to Rio Olympics. New fan of Terrence Romeo here!

3.      I have warmed up with my Cornerstone tutees. See the photo above? That’s the first two girls I am tutoring this season.

4.      Our washing machine had been fixed. Some rat ate the wires of our washing machine in the house. Good thing my father knows how to fix it.

5.      The weather. It is not hot anymore.

6.      I found my SFC notebook. It is a notebook where I jot down the talks and other stuff about SFC (Singles For Christ). I found it at the back of the drawer of our cabinet.

7.      De – cluttered my business email. I moved all the emails from a certain person to a different folder. Then I deleted all the promotional emails. I hope to do the same with my other email account.

8.      Watching make – up tutorial video. Yup, you read it right. I am finally serious on learning how to paint my face. I have new mascara, eye liner, eyebrow pencil, and a BB Cream. I you have tips for beginners please feel free to comment below.

9.      My favorite TV shows are back. The Vampire Diaries season 7 will air this week on ETC. Hunter x Hunter is back with new episodes on GMA 7 (a local TV channel).

10.  New blog theme and design. I found this new blog design that I am using right now on Pinterest. I like how clean this is! It was easily installed. Thank you Maira for providing bloggers like me a free blog design.

5 Things I Learned As A Cornerstone Volunteer

    A few Saturdays ago I was a lead tutor during the Cornerstone session. The assigned topic for Lizzy and me was letters R, G, B. It was my first time on leading even though I’ve been volunteering for more than one year. I asked myself what I have learned in getting involved with the program. I narrowed them down to five.

1.      It is all about the students. When I decided to volunteer for Cornerstone I expected that there are many factors needed for the success of the program. Like dedication, funds, cooperation, and teamwork but these will become non – essential if the students or tutees are not interested in studying. Without their interest in learning it would be a hard situation for all the volunteers. That is why in Cornerstone, the team leaders and the CFC community talked to their parents beforehand. Encouraging them is important. Letting them participate in all the activities is important too. I make sure that they always have something to look forward for the next Saturdays.

Plea of A Clueless Heart

I know it from the start

That truly I adore you

From the deepest of my heart

It shouts I Love You

In me I let it be keep

For know its craziness

This feeling takes me so long to sleep

It really makes me feel life’s loneliness

                                       

I implore you then, hear its cry

Wound be cured

By making a try

To love me so pure

PHOTOWALK: LATE FOR SUNRISE

            I indulged myself with the things I can do. Waiting for certain plans to unfold is eventually tiring, yes, I have to admit that. That is why I have decided to tick on item on my to-do list even though it is not yet its time. The perfect time for a photowalk, in my opinion, is when I already own a DSLR precisely Canon. Can’t I have a photowalk with the camera that I currently used? Of course, yes! It is just my pride and doubts that is stopping me.

AN OPEN LETTER TO A GIRL WHO NEVER WINS

            There are choices that had been decided for all of us even without our consent. No matter how we hate it if it is for us we cannot escape it. There are rewards given to us even if we do not compete for it. Lucky are those who recognize the importance of such rewards; lost are the obstinate one. There are battles we have to fight until we win. There are battles we have to retreat.

            And so, I write this letter to a girl who thinks that she never wins. You and I are in the same phase of this adulthood. Perhaps it is necessary to reiterate that you are not alone.

THE HAPPY LIST

            Happiness is a state of mind. The more we think of the happy things that had happened the more we attract good karma. When I am sad I think all the good memories even if I am not directly involve. And so, here I am listing them. You should too. Comment below if you made your own happy list.

CONVERSATIONS WITH STRANGERS: THE CONSERVATIVE GRANDMA

                After talking to the Lady Nurse and the Call Center Guy I have decided to eat lunch at Chowking there I met the third stranger. Two sets of conversations with strangers in half a day is a record for me. It turned out that I will break it after an hour. The conversation was short and nonidentical.

            Once I have my lunch I settled myself in a table near the condiments area. An old lady whom I assumed the same age with my grandmother approached to get her utensils. She started to talk as soon as I initiate eye contact.

ANTIPOLO CHURCH

         Every time I visit the Cathedral of Our Lady of Good Voyage in Antipolo City the local merchants would deal with me as I am a tourist. Perhaps they have not seen enough of me. It is understandable because the cathedral is known among the Catholics. Come Sunday people from different places visit the church. They would arrive with their family or friends; others come alone. Seats are difficult to avail if you arrived late for your preferred mass schedule. Such problem is small. It would not stop the devotees to pay their respect to Our Lady of Good Voyage.  It is always full; in fact, some would bear standing outside while hearing the mass.

CORNERSTONE DIARY: LEFT AND RIGHT

            The second school year of Cornerstone in Inuman Elementary School had started. It is the same place like last year with ate Tin and Kuya Cons as our team leader.

As of writing this, two sessions have been conducted. But prior to we helped in repainting the classrooms and there had been a meeting on a local eatery which was attended by some of the new members of the SFC community.

Project Happiness: From the Romans

Before this day ends I am leaving you this verse from Romans 12:2. Now, I don’t know about your religion or beliefs but I believe that all of us can learn from each other’s world or culture.

In case you are overwhelmed of what is happening in your life. In case you are confused I hope that you will be enlightened through this. I admit, I am still thinking of the best and clear interpretation of this verse but what I know is that it makes me happy reading this. It is like reminding me of something I cannot ignore.

To be frank, posting this makes me happy too, even though I have a little to say.  I hope that you too can do things that make you happy as long as it is legal.

I CALL HER JOY

            No man is an island. No matter how accomplished we are, we have to admit that we need help from all the people we know and from those we didn’t know. Admit it or not, we need someone to survive this challenging world. We cannot isolate ourselves from other people. As it matters, unconsciously we build friendship. It is not important if we won’t remember how we exactly met a certain person as long as we remember how that person has become an inspiration to us. And, if fate separates us with that person at least we hold on to something worth remembering and joyful.

WILD AND BEAUTIFUL

Allow me to share another bunch of growing flowers. I found them in the commercial lot in our neighborhood. They said that soon a building were rise in there. I been seeing them from our laundry area and finally I’ve decided to take a photo. I asked permission to the keeper of the lot to go in. Because no matter how beautiful your photographs are it would not matter if you are caught as a trespasser.

Aren’t they beautiful? There growing around the weeds, they bloomed through the rain and summer heat. They survived. Yet, there name is never known. So by posting them here, I am acknowledging these wild and beautiful flowers. How ironic is that some beauty is unknown and hiding. Do you know them?

CONVERSATIONS WITH STRANGERS: THE CALL CENTER GUY

            Let us dive in immediately. No more twisted introduction. This is the second of the three strangers whom I had a conversation in one day.

            The man asked me as soon as I exit the call center building. He was smiling. I understand his question and action is a part of his job description. After all I met a few of his kind. They call themselves as recruiter. They would stand for hours and discreetly screen passerby if they are looking for job.

            “Are there other people left in the recruitment area?” he asked

           “Yes there are still people in there. I am the first person who submitted my application.” I answered

            “How was it?” the recruiter asked

            “It was not good. The person in – charge told me that they have to pass my application to another department since I was not applying as a call center agent.” I replied

            We were slowly walking as we speak. I figure that he was avoiding something. Then he said the most important line that he probably told many people.

            “Why won’t you try applying with us? Our interviewer is in this fast food chain.”

            Bless him, that guy; he still smiled even though he knew what my response would be. I said no obviously. I reasoned that I can’t handle the lifestyle of a call center agent.

            “I’ve tried, you know. But I did not get the job.” I confessed

            “Well, maybe this time it would be different.” he said

            We went on talking. He talked how he landed the job. He eventually told me that security guards of the building are keeping an eye on him because he is the territory of their competitor. He said that it is common among call center agent recruiter. He assured me that as we speak some guys from the company that I’ve applied are also in their building trying to get new recruits.

            He was explaining about the benefits on working in the company that he represents when I received a call. I excuse myself to answer the phone call then afterwards I get back to him to tell him that I’d be heading to my other appointment.

            Blabbering or not, he made me forget that I was having a bad day. May that guy achieve his dreams whatever they are.

           

           

           

           

THE SUNDAY CURRENTLY VOL. 7

            Today I am celebrating my first anniversary in Singles for Christ (SFC). I can’t believe I made it. SFC community has been a lot of help to me. It helps discover myself more while nurturing my spiritual life. I hope to stay here while I’m single. How about are you involve with other community?

LETTER TO SADDIE

            You of all people know human’s life cycle. We were born; we live here on earth as temporary resident and God knows when death will come unto us.

            I feel you. Of course, I feel you. I understand your pain. Yours is a different kind of sorrow that I hope and pray to God would not happen to me. I understand you. I lost love ones too – family to be exact. I know how it goes. But, then again I can tell that it is your heart that hurts the most. It is the past that haunts you the most. I know, because, we human being talked about our past often occupying the present day. It is the history of our lives that sometimes we wished we had done things differently. You may ask how we would know if we are doing the right thing if we are unsure of our future. That my dear, I cannot answer. Perhaps, the answer to that question is one of the flaws of our existence.

QUOTES: PAPER TOWNS BY JOHN GREEN

            

           You know, I have been trying to organize my favorite quotes from Paper Towns but I always failed to comply for a long time. Yesterday it happened. I discovered that all I needed were a cold weather minus the internet connection.

            One of my favorite is from the scene where they played a game I spy while Q and his friends are on the road to New York. It goes like this, “I spy with my little eye something I really like.” I am tempted to post this on my Facebook. I would like to know how my friends would react.

            Here are my favorite quotes from Paper Towns. I hope you find them on your list too.

CHECKING MY 2015 AGENDA

               

              Can you believe it? We are now on the seventh month of the year. I guess it is true that it is slow when we count the days, fast if we barely look at the calendar. I have been thinking if I have been productive enough despite of still having trouble in my finances. 

            Let us assess if the plans that I made for this year is happening or if they turned out to be unimportant plan that I totally ditch.

DATE A GIRL WHO WRITES POETRY

It is with sincerity that I say

To every gentleman that wishes to stay

But never finds a reason to be still

Be patient and look for love that won’t frail

Allow this humble stranger to give you advice

Never judge a girl by her looks but on how she flies

You know she can if she writes poetry

Either she keeps it on her journal or in a bark of tree

So if you must, date a girl who writes poetry

She writes words to be free

When everyone else is dying to find their rhythm

She would sit with her pen trusting it to sign her name

Date a girl who writes poetry

Simply because she values the important of words

For her words once said is said

For her words once written is written

Date a girl who writes poetry

Once you do you’ll never be bored but be challenged

To figure her style and her metaphor

And once you can’t, all you have to do is ask straight

She writes from experience twisted with fiction

From a blank paper to a story that is yours

She is never violent in action

Though she may vent by turning them into a beautiful verse

Date a girl who writes poetry

Because she can balance her passion and her reality

So, my dear stranger, if you must

Date a girl who writes poetry

She who have experienced love more than what she thought

She is magic without pixie dust

She is time capsule

She is magic